


All This Pain

by MarvelDC



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: Dark, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Love Confessions, Pain, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23508091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelDC/pseuds/MarvelDC
Summary: The night that Harley leaves the Joker is the night the Poison Ivy is fed up with how he treats her.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	All This Pain

It was becoming a habit.

On a nearly weekly basis, Harley would find herself on the steps of Ivy’s greenhouse, with a black eye, or a cut lip, or a million other things that the Joker did to her. Whenever she said or did something that he didn’t find funny, he would beat her. And everytime he did that, she would run away for a couple days before coming right back to him.

This time was different. 

As Harley waited in the cold rain outside, the water that washed her skin fell to the ground red with blood. This time, the Joker was particularly cruel, this time he held nothing back. Tonight, he beat Harley for fun, not for punishment, and this time, Harley nearly died. She was beaten so badly that even the Joker thought that she was dead, and so he threw her in the back alley with the trash. But Harley had taken so many of his beatings so many times that she was able to fight back, she was able to stand up and walk away from this one.

Harley couldn’t see out of one eye, her ribs were definitely broken, something on her face was bleeding, but she couldn’t feel any of it. She was just numb. Numb from the acknowledgement that her puddin didn’t actually love her. He just used her, he never cared about her, not even in the beginning. 

She was barely able to drag herself to Red’s and by the time she got there, she was more dead than alive. Harley was unable to even stay standing as she waited for Ivy, after she knocked on the door she quickly collapsed to the ground. Staring up at the rain that was stinging her cheek, she just thought to herself that maybe it would be better if Ivy didn’t answer, maybe she should just crawl away and let herself be forgotten. It would be so easy to give up, to let go. The cold rain continued to pour, but Harley couldn’t feel it, she couldn’t feel anything. She thought that she was dead, she couldn’t see the rain, she could only hear it hitting her skin. That was the last thing she remembered before everything around her faded to black. 

The first thing she felt was the pain. She woke up and felt like she was on fire, everything felt like it was broken. Harley could barely open her eyes, and it took a minute before she was able to see and understand where she was. Ivy’s apartment was a warm safe haven where Ivy worked and more often than not, nursed Harley back to life.

Slowly getting up, Harley looked around and saw Ivy sitting down, looking out at the rain with her back towards her. 

“Red” Harley could barely croak out, before going into a coughing fit, with every second of it causing her to cry with pain. Her throat was raw, the Joker had choked her last night so badly the hand print is still on her neck. Harley reached out to Ivy, who still was unable to look at Harley.  
She sat there in silence, before slowly turning back and getting up, advanced towards Harley. When she got to the couch, she lowered herself onto her knees, so that she could take the broken girl's head in her hands. 

That was when Harley could see that Ivy was in tears, she had been crying, her eyes red. And without speaking, she motioned to them and wanted to know why. 

Ivy then stood up with anger in her eyes. 

“You want to know why Harley! Because of you! GOD! Everytime. Everytime you come here and I, I make you better just so you can go back to him. Just so you can come back even worse than before.” Ivy was pacing back and forth shouting at Harley, who was just shrinking on the couch, unable to move and unable to defend herself. 

“If you didn’t have me, you would be dead months ago, and still, you still go back to that monster of a person. Why!? For the love of God, just WHY!? He doesn’t love you, he never has, you have to know that by now, so WHY? Please tell me.”

Ivy was starting to cry along with Harley, a mixture of anger and anguish, but she was still continuing to rant. “God! This has gone on for over 3 months, 3 MONTHS! What makes you go back to him time and time again, Every time you leave me you go off to your death. How many times, How many does it have to take for you to stay. I don’t know, maybe it’s me, maybe if I’m not always going to be waiting for you then you’ll stop going. I… I, Damnit Harley, I CAN’T LOSE YOU.”

With that Ivy fell down to her knees next to Harley, and let her head rest on Harley’s stomach. Ivy was silent for a long time. Harley could feel the tears fall onto her skin, she wanted to speak out, to move her arm, to do anything to comfort Ivy, but her body wouldn’t respond to her thoughts.

Finally Ivy stood up, slowly, dragging her arm along Harley’s body, and walked out of the room, stopping only in the doorway before saying coldly “Get some sleep” With those words, she left Harley alone in the dark room, alone with herself and her thoughts. She could hear the rain outside crashing into the side of the building and the wind rushing along. She couldn;t go to sleep, cause that’s when she couldn’t control her thoughts, that’s where she could still get hurt.

In the darkness, she thought about how Ivy was right, about how she was stuck in a cycle of pain. She was right that Joker didn’t love her, she was right that she gets closer to death every day. Harley didn’t know why she went back every time, she just felt an uncontrollable desire to be with Joker, but now, after last night, all she felt was pain. So much pain, Harley felt like life was trying to kill her, like she was drowning in all of this hurt. She just wanted it to stop, she wanted all of it to stop.  
Slowly and painfully, Harley forced herself to get up off the couch, she could feel her body fighting her, as she stood up, pain shot through her legs and nearly forced her to collapse. Harley fell to the side of the wall, and started to make her way to the widow. Clawing to the side of the wall, she could remember all of the beatings she had received and all the times she went back to him. Mustering whatever strength she had left, she started to walk to the widow, each footstep she could feel the dozens of kicks she got, each breath she could feel all of her broken ribs, until she finally reached the window sill. Somehow she managed to open it, despite her unfeeling arms, somehow she was able to climb out of the apartment and onto the balcony.

Outside, the sun had gone down and it was cold, the rain had lessened but the sky was darker, the wind was still the same furious creature that threatened to blow her away. Harley let everything hit her, she welcomed the sharpness of the wind and the brutalness of the rain. On the inside, Harley could only feel pain, pain caused by the Joker, caused by her, and she thought how it would be better for it just to end. 

Using what little body control she had, she sat up on top of the railing, her legs dangling over the edge, pointing down to the empty dark street below, looking down, Harley began to feel a sense of hopelessness wash over her. She was just tired of the pain, she wanted it to stop, she wanted all of it to be over.

Inside of the apartment, Ivy was distraught, she had lashed out at Harley at the worst possible time. She needed someone to hold her and love her, not to fight her and hate her. Ivy sighed, she never meant to be angry at Harley, she was just tired of the repetition, tired of how often she would find Harley almost dead and how often she seemed blind to reason. Getting up, Ivy walked into the main room, wanting to apologize to Harley, when she found the bed empty.

“Harley” Ivy looked around worried, Harley should not be walking in her condition. “Harley!” Ivy turned around looking for her, then she saw the open window and got scared. She ran to it fearing the worst, but was somehow barely comforted by the fact that Harley was still there.

“Oh. Heya Pammy” Harley said with a tone of hidden sadness. “Harley what are you doing?” Ivy was barely able to stop herself from panicking and screaming.

“I’m just tired, you know. I’m tired of all the pain, all the pain that he gives and the pain I give myself by going back to him.” Harley scooted a little closer to the edge, falling silent again.   
“I can’t live like this, with this, this hurt. With his constant presence. My entire life has been ruined by him, he destroyed me. I can’t feel because of him, but what’s worse is that I’m afraid to try.”

Ivy was taken aback by this sudden gush of emotion from the normally distant Harley. Shocked by the truth, she was encouraged to tell her truth.

“Harley I was wrong to yell at you. What you need is someone to help you.” At that, Harley started to edge away from Ivy. “Don’t tell me what I need!”

The wind whipped Harley’s signature pigtails into a frenzy, the city was completely dark now, with the heavy clouds even blocking out the moonlight. Harley’s anger was starting to rise, why couldn’t Ivy see. Why couldn’t she understand that with her gone, she would finally stop hurting. “Just leave me ALONE!”

Thinking about what to say, Ivy gingerly and carefully made her way out of the window onto the balcony with Harley. “I’m never going to tell you how to live your life or tell you what to do, but this.” Ivy gestured to the street below “This is how he wins, this is how he beats you forever. I know that you are better then he says you are, this is your chance to beat him at his own game. This is your chance to be Harley Quinn instead of one of the Jokers games.” Ivy slowly inched her way to Harley, who was still unsure about what she was going to do. 

Ivy continued to let her emotions go, telling Harley what needed to be said. “I know that you’re afraid to feel, that it’s easier to just let it all go and slip away, but the only way to get over this is to be with someone who loves you for who you are. And i’m sorry I yelled at you, but I, I, I can’t lose you.”

“I know that.” Harley said, a little more open, and edging back towards Ivy.

“No you don’t. The reason I can’t lose you is because…” Ivy sighed and laced her fingers with one of Harley's hands “It’s because I love you.” Ivy moved behind Harley and set her head down on top of Harley’s shoulder. “I love you, and whatever you’re dealing with, I’ll deal with it too. For you.”

Ivy draped her arms around Harley and let the tears fall, and whispered into her ears “Please Harley, please. I need you.”

In that moment, Harley knew what she needed to do, but before she would. She wanted to feel this pain one last time, she wanted to feel the harshness of the wind and the sharpness of the cold one more time. She wanted to feel pain for the last time.


End file.
